Pieces: Reflections from a Single Wedding Photographer

Singleness

On my drive home from weddings, I listen to Pieces by Amanda Cook and remind myself of a God who withholds nothing good.

“You don’t give Your heart in pieces,
You don’t hide Yourself to tease us.”

It was not in my plan to be single right now. While I’m still very young, I always thought that there’d be someone in my life by this point or else I’d be heading overseas somewhere to rescue girls from sex trafficking. Yet here I am, living in the Midwest and single as humanly possible while photographing weddings every weekend.

I learned so much from the way my life is. I’m happy. Truly content. Deeply thankful and humbled. But it’s a process to realize that surely, I am lacking nothing. My singleness is not lack.

pieces

“Unreserved, unrestrained
Your love is wild, Your love is wild for me
It isn’t shy, it’s unashamed
Your love is proud to be seen with me.”

The kind of love that I see on display on a wedding day is already mine.

I’m already in possession of the fullness of which marriage is simply a picture. I’m part of the Church, the bride of Christ. Jesus is passionately, madly, and tenderly in love with me. He isn’t hesitant about me. He’s running around shouting, “This is my girl! Do you see her??? She’s mine!”

“Uncontrolled, uncontained
Your love is a fire burning bright for me
It’s not just a spark, it’s not just a flame
Your love is a light, and all the world will see.”

Jesus loves me with a love that I have never known and one that I will never fully experience here on Earth. Nothing can compare. A moment with Him overshadows even the best day of our entire lives. On a wedding day, you step into something that is deeply holy, but it’s only a taste of what is to come.

“Your love’s not fractured
It’s not a troubled mind
It isn’t anxious, it’s not the restless kind
Your love’s not passive
It’s never disengaged
It’s always present
It hangs on every word we say.”

I look around at couples these days and realize how far I am from being ready to be in a relationship. I’m not ready to give up my independence, my dreams, my plans, my time, and even my selfishness for another person at that level. I know it’s something God will make me work on in due time, but for now, I look at my life and simply see very little place for boys. Learning how to do this life adventure with God is really, really sweet, even as it is hard and forces me to let Him in. All those things I’m not ready to give up for a boy, Jesus still coaxes out.

“Love keeps its promises, it keeps its word
It honors what’s sacred, ‘cause its vows are good
Your love’s not broken
It’s not insecure
Your love’s not selfish, Your love is pure.”

All the things that I am not, God is.

All the wounds regarding love and marriage that I’ve been healed from, they are because of the God who is so good. He is everything I want to be. Everything I dream of and pray for in a future marriage. He is the source of all life and joy and purity and faithfulness. Truly, His love is better than life.

“You don’t give Your heart in pieces
You don’t hide Yourself to tease us.”

 


Olivia is a photographer, writer, and nonprofit founder based out of blustery Fargo, North Dakota. Her life goal is to use storytelling and impromptu dance parties as tools for making Jesus known in every nation. Visit her website, or follow her on Instagram to see more of her work!

 


February 8, 2017

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